Embracing my Heritage

Cochlear implants are amazing in that they can bring sound to people who cannot hear, but it still requires a lot of work and effort for people to use them to their maximum potential. Sound is just part of the process. The newly implanted patient must then go through a rigorous process in order to understand the new sounds that they can hear and then apply what they have learned into a spoken language. It is not an easy thing to do. My mom, to make it easier for me, helped me focus on learning English alone.  English is such a difficult language to learn. She thought that by limiting the amount of American Sign Language (ASL) I used that I would work my way through the frustration of listening, rather then giving up and switching to ASL, which was easier for me because it is a visual language. She wanted me to learn English because that meant that I could communicate with and be able to speak with everyone that I wanted to at home or in the neighborhood. I would never have learned how to speak and hear as well as I do if it wasn't for my mom. She was the one that was always there when I wanted to give up in frustration, when I needed an extra push to keep working, and she was always the one that made me feel the proudest when I made a breakthrough.

But this meant that I never learned ASL as fully as most of my Deaf peers have. I believe that I have my current level of listening comprehension and speaking ability because of my unwavering attention to one language. It didn't matter to me as much when I was younger when I ran into other deaf kids who I couldn't communicate with in ASL. I did feel a little disconcerted because I was a deaf person who couldn't sign, but I knew it was because I was doing my best to learn another language. But now that I am older, I feel that being deaf defines me more and more every year. People who find out that I am deaf always ask if I know ASL, and when I tell that I don't, it usually creates this reaction. They seem to think its weird. That reaction makes me wish that I knew ASL.

Now I do know a little sign language, but I have decided that I am going to learn ASL in its entirety. I am now comfortable enough with English, and even through I still learn new words and pronunciations everyday, I feel like I can dive completely into ASL and learn it. I want to be able to talk with everyone, regardless of whether they are hearing or deaf. I want to be the one who straddles both cultures. Just like how blogging combines all the cultures and societies across the nation, and allows for a new level of understanding between them.